The Offspring

Not the 90s band.

So the humans I associate with decided to procreate.

On the bright side, I have a new future drinking buddy. 

I’ll admit, at first I wasn’t exactly pleased. There’s enough snot nosed little toerags running around, ya know?

But this one is mine. 

Not literally MINE, it’s AJ & J’s but I’m like…the uncle. THE Uncle.

And every kid needs a salty old Uncle to sneak them into their first R-rated movie, take them to their first strip club, buy them their first Jager Bomb, etc.

Well Pally, your Uncle Wally will be here for you when your parents have become no-fun adults.

But grow some more hair first.

How old does he have to be to be my designated driver?

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